I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
