his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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