Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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