i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
