"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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