Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
well you can't waste a boner
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
