"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I have fence marks all over my body
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
