If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize