I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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