Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
