I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
