I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
