His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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