If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
