I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
