Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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