...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
