I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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