Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
