He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
