guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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