I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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