I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
