i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
