Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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