i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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