so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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