Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
