Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
