yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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