The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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