so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
