theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
