You really coming over, don't trick.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize