Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
COCAINE IS GR8
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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