Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm passing your future prison.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
