8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
