Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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