Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I want to have your abortion
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Randomize
