I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize