I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
