sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
