are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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