trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
