all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We just shotgunned beers for America
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You did what with his pubic hair?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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