At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
