I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
