there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
This baby is an asshole
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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