Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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