Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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