Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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