Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
