Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
