theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
