just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
