He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
