I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
